Battle of the Blondes
by wbelisabeth
Summary: Callie has a type… and it's going to come down to a battle of the blondes. *Callie/Arizona*, Callie/Erica, Callie/Sadie.
1. The Players

**Title:** Battle of the Blondes

**Author:** wbelisabeth

**Rating:** PG-13 for swearing.

**Words:** Chapter 1 – 1100

**Summary: **Callie has a type… and it's going to come down to a battle of the blondes. Callie/Arizona, Callie/Erica, Callie/Sadie.

**Type:** Multi-chaptered fluff. Not sure how this is going to turn out or if I will finish it, but… I thought it would be a fun premise to play with. It's angst to start, but… I need some light entertainment so… this should continue in a more lighthearted manner, for a couple of chapters.

**Spoilers:** To 6 x 22 – starts off from where the episode left Callie.

**Disclaimer:** All copyrighted materials reference within this fan-fiction is not mine. I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any characters of Grey's. This is for entertainment purposes only. I am not making any money out of this whatsoever. Any real people, places, events etc referenced in this work of fiction is done so in an entirely fictional manner and is not mean to be libelous or defamatory.

* * *

I was doing ok. I was. I had been watching, sure I can admit that. I was numb – and that's ok too. Then? Then her lips met mine and I felt the white heat. I felt the excruciating pain as her lips left mine and she walked away. I was doing fine. Until she kissed me.

This is the first time in a week I have felt – really felt.

I'm the type of person, if I'm happy, you'll know. If I'm angry, you'll know. This week I've been in limbo. Sure I was sulking. I'm used to getting my own way. But until I saw her, until I breathed her name and until I felt body against mine again… I felt nothing.

I had to get out of there. I had to escape the searing heat, the extraordinary amount of pain. I left the hospital and found solace with spring rain. As the droplets of rain hit my face, I felt once more. I felt her touch disappear. But there was no hope because I felt the memory burnt into my brain.

She has me. I have her. Yet we don't.

There is nothing I can do to expel her from my brain. I can't rid the memory of her saying she loved me the first time. I can't rid myself of her voice as she made me watch a Disney musical marathon, and sang along to every one loudly and off key. I am unable to forget losing a patient and having her snuggle into me in an on-call room and hold me to ease my pain. Up until 5 minutes ago, it was just memories. Now, each one brings on a new wave of feeling. Hopelessness. Anger. Sadness. Nausea.

It's hard to breath. How can it be hard to breathe? How can emotions affect me so physically?

I sit forward in a brace position. Hoping the air finds me.

She was so forceful, so passionate. She was desperate.

I have been watching her. I know that she's hurting. Her façade was something that I learnt to see through over time. Her right dimple was missing whenever I saw her smile. It only makes an appearance when she is truly happy. The left one appears anytime she tries to smile, but the right one is reserved for happiness. It's been missing for weeks. Even before the break-up. Her heeleys were missing too. She didn't wear them, not even on rounds. In the last week I have not seen them once. And I have been watching her.

I wish she had missed the elevator. I wish that she had been held up for 20 seconds more. I think I enjoyed not feeling.

The raindrops are no longer doing anything to cool my pain. I start to stand and my knees buckle. Maybe I should stay here a little more. When was the last time I ate? Probably about the same time I last slept… too long ago to remember. I don't feel hungry. I don't feel tired.

What do I feel? I feel the cool raindrops, hitting my jacket. I feel the hot droplets falling from my face. I feel my lungs in want of air.

"Callie?"

I look up.

God hates me. Obviously.

"Are you ok?"

I don't answer, except I can't help but see the irony.

I laugh.

"God hates me."

She sits down beside me and looks into my eyes. I see blue, but not the blue I want. I look at the wet blonde colour of her hair and it's not the blonde I want.

"Whatever you are here for Erica, go and do it… I want to be left alone."

"Ok."

She kisses my lips and my eyes go wide. I shove her away.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came back for you."

"Well go back."

"But you look so lost… so sad… so, in pain."

"I am, but there is nothing _you_ can do or say to fix it."

I stand with strength I didn't know I had and walk directly over to Joes. She cannot make an appearance there. She cannot make a scene there.

"Callie, what can I get you?" I mull over my options, but considering I can't remember the last time I ate, I opt for the safest option.

"Can I get a juice Joe?"

"Just a straight up juice? No vodka, no tequila? No alcohol whatsoever?"

"No. Thanks." At my reply he makes a face at me, after delivering my juice he loiters in front of me. I look up at him. I raise an eyebrow.

"Well it sounds like you need to talk."

"Really?"

"Well that and you are soaked to the bone and then there is also the fact that Arizona is over there on a date."

WTF?

My head swivels round quicker than I recognize. I notice her and a woman who seems vaguely familiar talking. Arizona laughs at something. And I see it. The right dimple. Hmmf.

I feel the familiar feeling of everything I know crashing down around me. I drink the whole glass of juice in one go, pull out a few notes and hand them to Joe. Once again find strength to leave. And this time I head straight for my appartment.

God obviously hates me, and is waiting for the right time to smite me... in the meantime there's obviously a whole torture thing happening.

I stare at the blonde in front of my door. I briefly wonder how she even knew where I lived, before just feeling annoyed.

I definitely have a type. If that's anything.

She starts to talk in that weird accent that changes every 4 and a half seconds.

"What do you want?"

"I can't get you out of my head."

"It's been what… Almost a year and a half since I've seen you."

"I know and I still can't get you out of my head."

I unlock the door, and look over at her leaning against the wall.

"Look, what do you want?"

"You."

"Sadie, we barely even flirted, in fact I think every time you flirted with me I had an episode of gay panic… so really you just flirted with me while I looked on horrified… Why are you really here?"

"I want a shot at you."

"Look I've just broken up with someone and I-"

"Great. How's tomorrow night?" She's always been a tad inappropriate, why would she stop now?

"No. Sadie… just… no."

"Ok, but just so you know… I'll be around the hospital. I got my act together and I am back as a resident… so… see you around!"

Yep. God. Hates. Me.


	2. The Setting

Callie's POV

God is definitely trying to torture me. Definitely. Without a doubt. I mean really? An impromptu staff meeting the day after both Sadie and Erica return to Seattle and the day after I saw Arizona with that hot brunette?

I obviously murdered a small child in a past life. Maybe several judging by today's punishment. They are all staring at me. All three of them. I feel their gaze. Mark looks around and laughs at me. Manwhore.

"You know, I was on an elevator with Derek once with Meredith, Addison AND Rose, and I thought THAT was awkward… I'm not even going to joke about this."

Manwhore.

I'm not really listening to anything as Derek makes some speech about welcoming back some people, I can only guess he is referring to the two additional blondes I have to face everyday on top of the already difficult task of not facing one particular one.

I hear his tone change to indicate he was wrapping it up and I quickly make a break for it. Hopefully leaving three blondes in my wake.

"Callie"

"Calliope"

"Dr Torres"

Crap. Maybe I could pretend I didn't hear any of them? I turn around and look at them. All three lined up for my viewing pleasure. I really do have a type. This is ridiculous. Maybe I should go after that patient… what was her name? Chloe…Toni… JAMIE. Cute girl. Not blonde. Doesn't work at the hospital… all of which is starting to look VERY good right now.

"Leave me alone. All of you." I'm looking at Arizona as I say this.

"Calliope wait-"

"You." I say accusingly. She kissed me and then went on a date with some woman. A hot woman. She always did say she had girls lining up for her. Hmmf. "You, do not get to call me that anymore. You can't just kiss me in an elevator and then suddenly ten minutes later be on a date with another women. It's not fair. So no more Arizona. No more." I see the look in her eye. I see her hurt. But I no longer have the energy to deal with this anymore.

Usually I head to my usual on-call room, but knowing that Arizona knows that, I am headed for the last place she will look for me.

* * *

Callie Torres left the room and Arizona looked over at the other two women who had been staring at her since she had addressed Callie as Calliope. They both had plenty of time to size her up. Neither of them had let the giant bear on her white coat or the plait pigtails escape their notice. The smirk on Erica Hahn's face was evident. Both women had been quick to judge Arizona as their main competition.

Arizona looked over her possible threats. Erica Hahn had been described to her less attractive than she appeared in front of her. The blonde hair and blue eyes aside, Arizona saw few similarities. She looked liked she'd been through a lot. She looked tough. Arizona thought briefly about who'd win in a fight between herself and the Cardio-God and came to the conclusion that while she would win, Erica would give almost as good as she took. She shook the double meaning from her head and looked over at the other woman. Honestly, she had no idea who this girl was. No marker within her memory told her that she was a part of Callie's past. She looked her over and concluded that she could take her down in just seconds if it came down to it. Before returning to reality Arizona laughed inwardly at the absurdity of her thoughts. She had never been a violent woman. Even in the playground when the jibes came about her name, she could just beat them with her words. Now? She's suddenly obsessed with the thought 'I could snap them both like a twig'.

She looked again at the two women and did what she did best. Put on a mask. She offered her hand to Erica Hahn.

"Hi, I'm Arizona Robbins Head of Peds Surgery." Arizona kept her tone sweet and upbeat. "So you are the Erica Hahn that broke her?" Her smile faltered a little as she recalled seeing Callie in the bathroom at Joes. "Well you know what? You are going to lose." Arizona looked over at both of them. Erica's arms crossed tighter across her chest. Sadie looked as though she had been jolted awake. "You know why?" Their blank faces were enough to convince her they had no idea. "Despite what she thinks she saw? She's still wearing _my_ necklace. The one I gave to her. So you can try, and I know you will… because I know that she is worth fighting for, worth… changing for…" She looks down, at her shoes for a second, before she lets herself delve too much into her own doubts and weaknesses she presses on. She raises her eyes to meet Erica's. "Just so we are clear. You will lose." She looks across to the other blonde, truly unaware of how she fitted into this at all, but still marking her territory, just the same. "Both of you."

She skated off on her heeleys before either of them knew what had hit them.

She knew where the Callie was. She knew where she would find her and for that advantage, Arizona Robbins was entirely grateful.

* * *

Arizona's POV

I'm knocking on the door. I'm knocking on an on-call room. Really. Knocking? On an on-call room door? Nobody does that. Nobody. They barge in. And that would probably work in this case too, but I need her to know. I need her to be mine. And barging in is not going to work. Not now.

I saw her leave Joes last night and I couldn't help it. I felt guilt. Guilt. I wasn't even on a date like she assumes I was on. I was seeing an old friend. An old friend who I needed to speak to. And so I will not apologize for arranging to meet an old friend of mine. Maybe I'll just grovel and then beg to explain.

I knock again. Out of the corner of my eye I see another blonde come toward me. She's smart. I give her that. The doe eyed one just seems to follow behind.

"Calliope if you are in there-"

The door swings open and Mark Sloan half naked, comes out of the door.

Please don't be Calliope behind the door. Please don't be Calliope behind the door. Please don't be Calliope behind the door. PLEASE.

"Blondie." He smiles at me before I feel people behind me. Dumber and Dumber, I assuming. When did I get this rude? Name calling… I spend too much time around kids. Ha. Isn't that the problem. I shake my thoughts away and I refocus on Mark. "Or should I say Blondie_s_." He smirks at us. "I'm not really a fan of blondes… more a brunette man myself." My heart stops beating. No. Way. No freaking way. She is not behind the door. She is NOT behind this door.

"Mark get back here before I break you again."

Well I guess that's payback for seeing Calliope and I in the shower together. Thank you little grey… really did not need that visual. Although… Thank you that you aren't Callie!

Mark smiles at me.

"Where is the last place you'd look?" I smile at him and I know the answer, now I just have to get rid of Romy and Michelle.


	3. The Set Up

**AN **This was supposed to be cheerful and amusing... it's not as lighthearted as I first envisioned. Whoops.

* * *

"This is a goldmine!" Lexie looks over at me unimpressed that I had decided to call my best friend as soon as Callie's groupies had left.

"What?" I hear her annoyance.

"Well firstly blondie" I guess I can't really call her that anymore, not with the other two still around… "Ok, well _your_ blondie seems to have opted in."

"Opted in?"

"She sees she's got competition. She's opted in, she's going to fight for you… you could use this in your favor."

I hear her sigh. She should be happy about this. She should see that Arizona deciding to fight means that she could end up happy.

"Callie this means you could end up with what you want."

"But is Arizona going to be happy with what she gets Mark? She'll fight, she's competitive and she's enjoys competition, but is it going to lead her onto a path with me that she really wants or is she just going to decide later down the road that winning wasn't what she wanted. She should just go with that girl she met up with last night and be happy."

Wow, since when was depression contagious? I think, with her one monologue, my mood has descended to new lows. I feel a hand on mine and look over at Lexie who is lying naked under a sheet smiling at me despite her annoyance. They are her lesbian mommies afterall. My mood returns to normal. I try and improve Callie's mood, try and make her see the good in this situation. She's literally got women falling over each other to talk to her and she's too concerned about Arizona's decision.

"You are thinking about this too much. You have three hot blondes. You don't have to choose between them, you can play them off each other. Better yet - have you ever considered-"

"Mark if you even mention sex with more than one other person at the same time – let alone all three of them, I swear to God, I will hang up right now."

So she knows me better than I thought. I remain silent and I hear her laugh a little. The next bit of advice I'm about to give her hurts. Despite all the teasing, despite all the crap we give each other I really love Arizona. I love her almost as much as I love Callie. I love them together. I believe that they should be together 30 years from now, but if Callie is so set on Arizona not compromising herself then… I have to say this.

"Ok, so what if you use them as your rebound? Sadie and Erica…What if you use them, to get over Arizona." I am met with silence. "I'm sorry, but it had to be said."

"Thanks for trying. Go back to Lexie and… don't let her go." Her voice is full of pain. I'm about to do as she says when I hear a knock in the background. I look at my watch. It took her 12 minutes for her to lose Hahn and get to the Peds, that's almost impressive.

"That should be Arizona. Cal, do me a favor and just listen to her." I hear a soft sigh and then a small grunt in agreement before the line is disconnected. I look over at the love of my life and hope that Callie gets a chance at the happiness I have been granted today.

**

* * *

**

Callie's POV

Maybe he's right. Maybe she wants to compromise. But, if I felt so devastated for compromising, I can't ask her to do that.

The knocking gets louder. She's persistent, I'll give her that.

I contemplate sitting in here and pretending no one is in here, but then she'll come in here anyway.

I get up and stare at the door handle for a few seconds before plastering a fake neutral expression on my face. As soon as I open the door it fades away, and again, this week from hell proves to be just as unpredictable as any other.

"Erica."

"Sloan really must think I'm stupid." She smiles her smile, the smile that made me fall for her. The smile that she shows to few. I stand there for a few moments and look at her. She looks different. She still looks the same, but she looks… relaxed? Relieved? I don't know exactly what it is but something is different. The thoughts of her leaving return to my mind. Thoughts of days where I struggled to get out of bed, days like today. Except this hospital was my refuge. My sanctuary. Now? I've spent the better half of the morning avoiding Hitler's perfect race that have suddenly invaded Seattle.

"Erica." I try not to sound as horrified as I am. I move away from the door and I let her in. Closing the door and then sitting back down on the bottom bunk bed.

"Look, I know that you are going through things. Mainly I can see you are in pain. I'm not asking for anything Callie." She breathes heavily. "Do you need to talk? Before I left, before… everything… we used to talk."

"But then we had sex Erica… and then I slept with Mark and then I sided with someone else in an argument. Oh yeah and then you LEFT. Oh and then you proceeded to not answer any form of communication with me for months. Months. I considered you dead Erica, because that was the only way I could deal with us, with you. I thought of you as dead and buried somewhere. Now you are here? And you are alive? And you are asking for me to give you attention? To talk to you like that never happened?"

"Yes. I am asking you if you need to talk this thing with the Perky Rollerskating girl out."

"She's wearing her heeley's?" I can't help but be a little disappointed. She hasn't worn them since we broke up. And the day after she goes on a date, she's wearing them? How did I not notice that?

"I'm sorry?" She looks at me confused.

"Is Arizona wearing her rollerskate shoes?"

"Yes."

Hmmf. I look over at her and realize for the first time that she truly is concerned. She is truly interested.

"Arizona and I have been together since a couple of months after you left. Until two weeks ago." Her expression looks like something that could be surprise, though I'm not sure if she is surprised about my relationship or the fact I'm talking to her. "I want kids. I have to have a baby. She doesn't want kids." Now I see her expression to one of total and utter shock.

"That woman… she doesn't want kids?"

I can't help but laugh. Yep. I see your shock and I'll raise it to horror.

"I'm sorry Callie." The way she looks at me. The way she says my name. Before I know what I am doing I lean in and taste her lips. There's no vanilla flavored lip gloss, but I slide my tongue over her bottom lip anyway. When she lets me into her mouth, there's no faint hint of a sugar addiction, but I still continue the kiss anyway. When she doesn't fight me for dominance, I realize that I'm not even close to satisfied by any of this. Not by her lips, not by her hand cupping my cheek, not by her perfume that is completely not intoxicating. Dissatisfaction turns to disgust when I realize that there is a blonde peadiatric surgeon heelying the halls. Whether I want or not I think of her and I pull away. Of course, being the week from hell, I hear a gasp coming from the doorway before I have had a chance to remove my lips from Erica's. Of course.

I've certainly pissed off someone.

God really hates me. God really, _really_, hates me

I don't even try and defend myself.

I don't even have enough energy to fight.

I give up.

I wait until the door closes before moving. I glance at Erica once more before getting off the bed and walking over to the door. Before I'm at the door I have dialled the familiar number. There is no answer. I leave a message and walk out of the hospital.

Defeated.


	4. The Underdog

**AN** - I have just butchered Sadie's character and this is me not apologising. I realised that she had to have changed in order for her to be back at Seattle Grace Hospital I blame creative license.

* * *

There's a knock at the door. I hope it's Cristina with the tequila I wanted. I could use some. I could use a lot. This week, or rather these last two days has been hit after hit. I just want to drink, dance it out and go to sleep. Admittedly it's only 1 in the afternoon, but after seeing Arizona's face, after hearing her gasp… I can't face myself. I can't get her hurt expression from out of my memory. I, once again, have a memory burnt into my mind and it's on constant replay.

I open the door and sigh. I'm not at all surprised. I don't even care. I just open the door and let her in.

"Yang said that you needed tequila."

"I do."

"She said that she couldn't deal with you."

"She probably can't."

"She said that I should try and make you happy before she gets home."

"You could try." She just looks at me, unsure of my tone, unsure of my meaning. Just... unsure. "You can start by handing me the tequila."

She hands it over to me. I leave her standing there and head over to the cupboard and remove two glasses. I see no need in bothering with shot glasses… It's not some frat party where I'm going to play drinking games. I'm not drinking for entertainment. I'm drinking to forget.

I moved over to the island and look up. She's looking at me. Again I can see the uncertainty. I pour my own glass full of tequila and the lift the bottle up, offering her some. I see a small nod and fill her glass too. I move around to where she had remained standing. I hand her the glass and move over to the couch. She watches me. I look up. Again I don't say anything but offer her a seat by a small hand gesture. She takes a seat at the end of the couch. I take a long drink of the tequila.

I've always hated it.

It burns. It tastes foul. It blurs the world.

It's the very last reason that I am sitting here with my glass full, bar a mouthful.

"So Sadie, what have you been doing in the last 18 months?"

She looks up at me, surprise I broke the silence. She smiles a little.

"I went and did some volunteer work. Peace Corps." This surprises me. I know I did it, but... it's not exactly glamorville

"Really? Wow… why?"

"I um… I needed to find out why I became a doctor."

"So did you?"

"Yes."

"Well then...Why did you become a doctor?"

"Because my best friend was." She laughs. She looks down at her drink, contemplating it all. She takes a long drink of the drink and then follows it with a stifled cough and a low groan. I hear a vague muttering about tequila and waking up tomorrow.

"Huh."

"Yeah, I know… but I was out there, assisting in a clinic and I saw some really horrible cases. I saw a lot of crazy things and I realized that I needed to want to be a doctor."

"How did that go for you?"

"Well… Not great."

"So you don't want to be a doctor?"

"I do, now. I just… didn't."

I look at her and I don't understand. The minute I signed up for med school was the first moment in my life that I knew I was doing what I wanted to do. Medicine has been the one thing that I have held onto when all else fails. I can't understand being trained and not wanting to be a doctor.

"Why."

She looks at me confused.

"I don't understand. Why did you not want to be a doctor? A Surgeon? Why?"

She shrugs her shoulders a little and then looks at her drink a bit more before looking back to me.

"There was a massacre, it was labeled a riot, but really it was a massacre. It was a village near where we were situated. We were called to assist. I saw a lot of death. I wasn't prepared. I have been given everything my whole life. I'm not even sure if I would have made it through med-school without Meredith or my father's name."

I could tell she had grown up in a wealthy family. One privileged kids can pick put another a mile away.

"I've never seen so much blood. I've never seen so many people just - thrown away. It was a small village and the bodies were just put in a pile. Just lying on the side of the road… I've never seen it, I've never had to deal with…"

I know the face she makes. I know the feelings she's feeling as her eyes try and blink away memories, memories burnt behind her eyes. She takes another long sip of the tequila and then opens her mouth to talk. She moves her eyes to mine and stops. She looks back at her drink and I can only wonder what she was about say. She looks at her drink a little while longer. I've drank far too much tequila for such a period of time, but I get up and refill my glass anyway.

When my back is turned as I am pouring my drink she suddenly finds words.

"I-I… I never knew someone could bleed so much. I never knew someone could scream so much. I never knew that humans could do such awful things to each other. But…that's when I knew. That is when I knew I wanted to be a doctor, when I knew that I could actually do something. I wasn't just this privileged kid with a medical degree… I was someone with the capacity to help and I wanted to do something to help."

I turn around and look at her. I don't know this woman. This woman is not the woman who blatantly flirted with me all that time ago. I don't say anything, except look into her eyes. I drink take another sip of my drink before I watch her finish hers.

My time in the Peace Corps was a little more, well peaceful… I cannot imagine what it would have been like for her. I can't imagine what images flash behind her eyes. She walks over and pours another drink for herself. I look over at her once more, before grabbing her wrist and dragging her over to the middle of the room. I let go of her and walk over to the stereo. I turn on my iPod and select my 80's rock playlist. I return to her and the music has started to play. I start to dance while she just looks at me.

"Oh come on… how can you be Meredith's friend and not danced it out?"

She just looks at me. I stop moving and look at her blankly. How can she not have danced it out before?

"Just dance. Crazy. Happy. Whatever just… dance it out."

I start dancing again and this time I close my eyes. I picture Arizona dancing with me. She was a huge fan of dancing it out. We've spent hours dancing it out… maybe sometimes it was more like sex than dancing, but… I am a huge fan of dancing it out.

I open my eyes to see Sadie's arms above her head and I see her jumping around. Definitely a punk-rock girl. I smile at her and she smiles back. I notice that she has an empty glass once more as is mine, but my head is starting to feel a little blurry and I don't feel the need to go and fill it up. I continue moving my body to the beat.

After two hours and two more large glasses of tequila later I am sprawled out beside her on the couch.

"You and the head of peds… what's the story?"

"I don't know."

"So are you together or not?"

I look at her and I shrug. Who knows? I don't know at the best of times let alone when I have drunk this much.

"So what happens when I do this?"

She leans over and kisses my lips. Her skin soft on mine. I can't help but deepen the kiss, it feels so good. I taste tequila. More tequila. I am dizzy. She pulls back a little and looks into my eyes. I know I should tell her that I don't want her. I know I should tell her a million things, but the thoughts of non-existent babies and parking lots disappeared when her lips were on mine. Hoping to continue the not-thinking, I close the distance between us and push her down onto the couch.

When I feel her hand roam a little I let out a groan. I shouldn't be letting her do that. I should be stopping. I should do so much, but a glimpse of Arizona laughing at Joes enters my mind and I decide that I am not hurting anybody by doing this. I am making it easier on everyone.

My hand moves to her hip bone, where I slide my hand under her shirt slightly and graze her skin with my finger tips. I feel her chuckle a little before I hear the door fly open. We both sit up automatically, even though I can barely think straight.

"What are you doing? I said cheer her up!" Cristina looks over at Sadie, clearly not happy with what she has just seen.

"She did cheer me up." I look over at Sadie and smirk a little.

"Out. Get out now."

"Cristina… we've been drinking all afternoon… she can't just drive home."

"Here's 50 bucks get a cab." She shoves what I am assuming is fifty dollars into Sadie's hand before pushing her out the front door.

I stare at my roommate. What. The. Hell. Just. Happened.

"You should be ashamed."

She walks off to her room in a huff.

What the hell just happened?


	5. The 'Prepare Yourself's'

I smile as I wake up. Besides a splitting headache I can't help but think of those lips. The tequila induced kisses. The roaming hands. Talking until words were no more. She's beautiful and courageous and really sexy. Then the dancing comes back. My smile gets bigger if that's possible.

I look at my clock and realize I'm late for work and my head pounds harder when I'm upright, but I still get out bed with a smile. Today is a good day because last night, last night I had me some quality make out time with one of Seattle Grace's hottest surgeons.

Callie Torres is within my reach.

By the time I get into work I find Dr Yang charting at the main nurses station. She looks up at me and glares. I attempt to walk past her. I try to avoid her obvious blocking of my path and in failing to do so am cornered.

"I don't know you. I mean I know that you are Meredith are friends and whatever but I don't know you. I know that you don't know me. I know you don't know Arizona and I know that you have no idea about Callie."

I look into her eyes searchingly and she continues.

"I didn't know you were interested in her otherwise I wouldn't have sent you in there. I wouldn't have let you do that. She's not going to pick you. You're not even a choice. You are going to have to prepare yourself for that."

She looks serious, I want to laugh it off, I want to ignore it, but the way she is looking at me with what I imagine is the closest Cristina Yang can get to a sympathetic expression on her face and the smile from my face disappears. I'm used to getting what I want, but… it doesn't seem like I will this time.

It seems that this time... Maybe this time… it was just tequila talking.

I have to talk to Callie.

* * *

"She kissed _me_." I am angry right now. He can't just come in here, where I just saved a life and accuse me anything. He's an ass. An arrogant ass.

"Why are you here? Why did you come back?" His arms are crossed and I can tell he is in protective mode. I've not seen him like this about Callie, particularly about Callie and someone else. I remove my mask and gloves and start scrubbing out.

"I missed it here, my family is here, my life is here."

"What so you thought that you could come back to Seattle and just sweep her off her feet and ride off into the sunset?" Well… I admit that's probably how I thought it would happen, I didn't really foresee all this drama. I certainly didn't foresee all this competition. Fierce competition I might add. But I will win and I will treat her better. I will treat her right. I don't need Mark defending Callie's honor. Neither does she.

"Look Callie's a big girl she doesn't need-"

"You don't know the first thing about what Callie needs, which was clear when you left her devastated and alone. You _had_ your chance. She is a little confused right now, but when this fog lifts, she won't be choosing you. You need to prepare yourself for that."

"She will pick me."

He looks at me and tilts his head a little, like he's trying to understand. I am a Cardio-Goddess… I am second only to Preston Burke and on a good day I surpass _that _smug ass too. Some peds surgeon with pigtails and a bear on her coat is not going to beat me. Prepare myself? I'll win, because it's who I am.

"She won't, because the minute Arizona tells her she wants children with her Callie will go back. In an instant."

"But Arizona doesn't want kids." Isn't that the whole problem? They want two different things. Their ideas of the future are different. That is why I have a shot... because the only future I want is the one with Callie in it... the one with my best friend in it and happy.

"Maybe not now… but in time… maybe in a couple of weeks or months or years, and you know what? Callie will go back to her. Even in a couple of years... she will go back. This thing between the two of them is.." He struggles for a word. "Different" Unsatisfied he pauses again to think, his eyes lighting up a little as he finds the word he was looking for. "More. It's more than what you and she had, it's more than you and she will ever have. They fit... They just... fit."

"Sloan-"

"Erica. Look at me, I'm not warning you off so I can get Arizona back in… I'm not taking sides here, I'm just telling you Arizona and Callie will always be an obstacle between you and Callie, whether you like it or not. You have to accept it and then make a decision based on those facts."

For a moment I let myself think that he is doing what he's saying he is not. That he's doing this because he has Arizona's back. Maybe he _is _cheering for Arizona, but I glance into his eyes and realize that right now he's being a friend. To Me. To Callie. To Arizona. He's warning me that I may not get what I want. That even if I get what I want it will come at a cost.

I nod and he looks at me and walks away.

I need to speak to Callie.

* * *

"She was kissing her ex." I lean over my lasagna... my favorite comfort food. Cafeteria lasagna isn't nearly as good as Calliope's but she's the reason I am eating comfort food in the first place... so it will have to do.

"Ok." She's meant to be here to visit me and all she can do is look at her stupid magazine and give me one word answers. She doesn't understand what I just said.

"I walked in and she was kissing her ex."

Rachel repeats the 'OK' and nods… I don't think she's getting it. Calliope was kissing Erica freaking Hahn.

"Are you not listening to me? The woman I was going to have children with was kissing someone else."

She looks up at me instantly from her magazine, with a shocked expression on her face. I'm just as shocked as she is by my words. She holds my gaze a few seconds and then sighs a little. She puts down her magazine and turns her body to face me and then looks my in the eye. It's something you pick up as a doctor. Giving bad news. Face the patient and look them in the eye.

"Zona, I know that you are upset. I know that it sucks but… you were the one that said you didn't want to have kids. You let it go for what… a month? Then there was the break-up of… two weeks? Did you really think that she would just mope around just waiting around for you to say you wanted something that you were pretty adamant about not wanting?"

I look at her in horror. She's right. I kind of did expect her to sit tight and wait for me. But for what? I said I didn't want what she wanted. I said it time and time again. I was VERY clear. Unwavering. _I_ refused to listen. And now that there are three of us… she has options.

She has to know I love her.

It dawns on me. I have to tell her that I will choose to have a baby... heck ten babies... if it means I can spend the rest of my life with her. I would do a lot if she agreed to never leave me again. If she agreed to be by side the rest of her life I would agree to kids. However many she wants. I just…

I feel her slipping away from me and I don't like it. I don't care about the kids. I don't care about the chickens and I couldn't care less about Spain right now.

"You need to prepare yourself Zona, she might choose someone else."

I look over at the woman who has helped me get my thoughts together over the last few days… she was my girlfriend once upon a time. We both agreed there would be no kids. She's now happily married to a woman named Jackie with their third child well on the way. We were the no kids club we believed we'd stay firm. When all our friends were having kids they were all saying we'd give in… now it seems the right people had led us to make the exact decision we'd both agreed to never make.

The thought that I had changed my mind and that she still might not choose me floats into my consciousness.

My chest tightens and I struggle for breath.

"I have to tell Calliope."

* * *

The call room sheets always seem to make my skin itch. No matter how tired I am. No matter how hungover I am. No matter what they make my skin itch. I wonder what woke me up. My pager hasn't gone off. Neither has my phone. Nothing.

I look over at the door and see her staring at me, she smiles a small smile and looks embarrassed that I have caught her. She locks eyes with mine and I can't help just stare at her for a few moments.

You have to prepare yourself Callie, I tell myself. I have to plan for the worst case scenario and work from there. It may not work. This may not last. I smile at her and she smiles back.

I have to tell her.


	6. The NotSoWinneryWinner

**AN - Next chapter is the epilogue. Hope you like it.**

* * *

She sits down on the bed beside me, I scoot over to the wall and she lies next to me.

"Erica-" She cuts me off before I'm even finished my first word.

"Don't. You don't need to explain it to me. But there is something I need to explain to you before there is any decisions made you need to know all the information."

I nod hoping it's enough for her to continue.

"The woman you saw me with at the bar the other night…that's Lynda."

She looks over at me and I realize the familiarity. I realize that there was a photo I had seen of her with her wife and 2 children.

"We were a club – the no kids club. When we were together we'd discussed not having kids, we were both pretty firm on the idea."

When she strokes the hair out of my face like she is doing now it's hard to even hear what she says but I know what she is saying is important so I put all my energy into ignoring her touch. No matter how good it feels. She suddenly sits up a little in what looks to be excitement.

"She's got another one on the way now… three. Three kids Calliope! There was a time when she and I had to beat off our friends saying we would never have them." She laughs a little at the memory and then her face becomes a little more serious. "I called her to talk me into having kids. I called her here to talk me into it." She suddenly looks down and avoids my eyes. "She refused. She said point blank that she wouldn't do it and she didn't."

I lift her chin so her eyes meet mine. This discussion is not one I want to be having right now. I just want to keep her next to me and pretend that we don't have to have this discussion. Pretend.

"It's ok."

"It _is_ ok, because I… I don't think I-" She seems so reluctant, like she has bad news for me. I cannot take any more bad news today or anytime in the next year. I've had my fill. I just want her next to me. I just want to listen to her breathe.

"Arizona… please. I'm having a really bad week. Please don't. Please just… just lie here with me a while?" I look at her pleading to let it go, to let us forget this topic for the first time in months and just be. I roll onto my back breaking the contact we had, but she just moves over and nuzzles her head into the crook of my neck while lays her arm across my stomach.

"Ok." She whispers with lots of emotion in her voice. She breathes me in. I love it when she does that, it makes me feel so loved.

Nothing more is said for 20 minutes. We both lie, staring at each other.

For 20 minutes I do nothing buy lie next to her and do nothing but breathe her scent, feel her skin on mine, and watch her eyes watch my own. I've felt more alive than any time in the last two weeks. That includes both the kiss with Erica and the drunken make-out session with Sadie. I cringe at the thought.

"What's wrong?" I have to tell her. I know we are broken up. I know it. I know that I do not need to answer to her. I am very aware of how we are nothing more than friends and even then I don't really think we are doing a good job of that. She had to clear things up about Lynda, well... it is not the same thing but...I don't know why, I just know I have to tell her.

"I've had a bad week. And I'm about to make it worse." She doesn't say anything, but she asks me what I'm talking about with her expression alone.

"I need to tell you things. Things I don't want to tell you. Because I think it could mean that you leave this room and leave me. For good." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, not wanting to see the reaction. "_I_ was the one that kissed Erica. _I_ initiated it. And then… last night, Cristina not knowing she was part of the love rhombus we seem to have happening here, sent Sadie over to get me drunk and cheer me up… and I kissed her too, but… it was a little more than just a kiss. Luckily Cristina came home or I don't know what would have happened. I know this is a competition now. 'Let's compete over Callie'. Well it sucks… and I don't want you to compete anymore." I hear her gasp. The same one I heard yesterday. "I certainly don't want you to win."

She tries to pull back, but I pre-empted this reaction. I knew my comments would have been misinterpreted, so I had a grip on her, forcing her to stay face to face with me. My eyes open because she needs to hear this from every inch of me.

"I don't want this to be a game between us, because we are worth more than that. We were something special and I know that going around kissing other girls isn't showing you how special you are to me, I know that and I am sorry." I feel her stop fighting with me and her body relaxes back into the spot she was lying minutes before. I play with one of her blonde curls nervously as I contemplate what I am about to say. I'm comforted by her presence, the way I'm always comforted by having her near. More so than kissing Erica or forgetting with Sadie... just sitting with her is enough. Suddenly, I know what I want to say.

"You know… if it came to it I'd pick friendship with you, with just your closeness, over anything else with either Sadie or Erica. Just lying here is the best I have felt in two weeks."

I watch as she blinks a couple of times and then I see the wheels turn in her head. I watch as she formulates what she is about to say.

"Who _is_ Sadie?"

I laugh. It's not exactly what I imagined would be coming from her lips.

"She was an intern who flirted with me before you came into my life. Apparently I made a bigger impression on her than I thought. Mark was flirting with the idea of dating Lexie and I was terrified that a woman was flirting with me." I smile at the memory of our one-step program of no sleeping with interns. "We had a pact not to sleep with them…Mark lasted a day. You came into my life soon after that and I don't remember ever seeing her after that."

"So had you ever kissed her before?"

"No."

"So what… You've just started kissing her?"

"Not that it is an excuse, but I had drank a lot of tequila. We were talking and she kissed me and… it was nice to not have to think about babies or car parks… to not think."

I watch her face change from angry to defeat. I brush a hand over her cheek and she looks into my eyes and her expression changes again. To something vaguely resembling… nothing?… neutral.

"Cal, I don't want to compete either." I hold my breath hoping she'll continue. My breath holding is rewarded. "I don't want you to be someone I win and I don't want you pick me because I am the best option out of three."

I smile.

"You aren't just the best out of the three, but you'd beat anyone in this hospital hands down." I say with as much levity as possible. I try and hold in my chuckle, failing, and for a second I'm concerned that I haven't heard her giggle, but I feel her forehead press against my shoulder and I feel her body shake with a few strangled giggles. After she pulls back, she looks down at me and I caress her cheek with my thumb, taking my time over her dimple. I haven't helped her show these lately. I haven't given her much to smile about lately.

"Arizona you could be up against every person in the world… every one of them, and you would still be the best option. Whether there are people out there that want babies or not, I'll never find another person who makes me feel so good, just lying next to them. I'm sorry I pushed the issue. I don't think this was ever about a choice, because to me there was never a choice. I'm sorry I didn't see that before."

She smiles before closing the gap between us, softly kissing me. It was so different to our last kiss in the elevator. That was of desperation, but the feeling between us right now is not desperation in fact it might be contentment or love. When she breaks the kiss we just stare for a few minutes.

"From what I hear your predecessor McDreamy 1.0 is expecting a McBaby and with all the time we seem to be spending with your work husband and his wife, we'll see the baby enough to know that we really don't want one. With the added bonus of babysitting and finding how much we really aren't missing." I smile and she smiles back with a knowing smile. She kisses her way to my ear.

"Or… we can have as many babies as you would like and find out for ourselves." It takes a moment to sink in and I gasp in shock. Half at her words and half at her mouth on the spot on my neck that drives me crazy.

"Or we could do that too." That discussion is for another time. Her lips capture mine in a kiss. I am well versed on exactly what _this_ kiss means. It means there will be no words needed... well, not coherant ones anyway.


End file.
